lady_windermere

I was going to post this at

btvs_ats_q_a but I thought my flist might enjoy it as well!

Angelus' Guide to Being Evil, by Kate Anderson

During Five years, the Angelverse has been home to some truly nasty individuals. Who can forget the killing machine known as The Beast? Or seemlingly kindly brainwasher Jasmine? Or how about when Wesley went pear-shaped for a bit?! Still, being evil does seem to have its perks. But just what does it take to be evil? What qualities does one need to possess?

Well, to get the lowdown on being bad, we've examined the life and crimes of the ultimate Big Bad - Angelus - in order to provide a few tips....

1) Don't Have A Conscience

Conscience? What conscience? Never show any kind of remorse - it's the ultimate sign of weakness. Being a sociopath will make the job easier. You can't be evil if you have even the slightest bit of humanity in you, and showing any form of emotion will just get in the way and cloud your judgement. There's no point doing bad deeds after bad deeds and then suddenly getting a severe case of guilt! Evil-doers wouldn't know guilt even if it came up and bit them on the butt!

2) Torture Is Fun

Being evil means you get teh have all sorts of fun. It means you get to cause mischief and mayhem, go on bloody rampages and wreak havoc simply for pleasure. And there's no better way for deriving pleasure than inflecting pain, be it physical or emotional. You could torture your friends/family with chainsaws, snap a few necks, kill your neighbours' fish or perhaps turn your victim mad after killing offf their entire family one by one. As the saying goes if a job's worth doing its worth doing properly. But whatever your preferred modus operandi, having a strong stomach is essential...after all, you can't be evil and faint at the sight of blood! If you haven't got a strong cast-iron constitution, being evil probably isn't the ideal career choice for you.

3) Mess With Their Minds

Evil has many faces. And being evil doesn't always have to involve inflicting physical pain - no sir-ee! It's amazing what damage you can do when you take the time to mess with someone's thoughts and feelings. You have to have a little patience; put in a little overtime. Better still, find with a troubled soul someone like that would be the perfect candidate to manipulate and have your wicked way with - that way half the damage is already done. You could then put an end to their suffering, too - but where would be the fun in that?

4) Stay Away From Gypsy Curses.

These days, it pays to choose your victims carefully - perhaps do a little detective work beforehand. After all, on minute you are out enjoying yourself, offering an ugly death to pretty much everyone you meet. And then, lo and behold, you discover one of your victims happens to belong to a clan of Romany Gypsies! And then you find yourself cursed with a soul! From that day forward you find yourself suffering because of all your evil deeds - highly inconvenient.

5) Keep Your Friends Close: But Your Enemies Closer.

In other words, trust on-one - except yourself! It's all well and good to team up with other evil-doers-there's strength in numbers, after all. But you can't always rely on other people, let alone trust them. Let's face it honesty and trust aren't exactly top of your personal agenda - for all you know when the going gets tough, your partner-in-crime could suddently decide to switch sides! One minute there you are. fighting side by side, and the next they team up with the enemy! Talk about being stabbed in the back! So, why give them ammunition? Unless of course, you beat them to it....

Hope you enjoy!