Manners

[lady_windermere]

Maybe there should be a book on good manners on LJ. It seems some people do need a wake up call on good behavour. The reason I have been thinking about this is that some of my friends are leaving feedback and not getting a response, which seems wrong, and discourages people from making comments. I love getting a reply to my posts, both personal and if I have written something. We might not all agree, but that is what the world is about.

Golden Rule Number One....Respond to comments.

rule number two, if you dont always friend back, have a good reason on your user info. Such as NO ONE UNDER whatever age.

rule number three....do not flame, con crit welcomed.

rule number four....be as supportive as posible. Sometimes things are happening in our own life, or perhaps we are tired, so it might be best not to comment if you cannot give support.

Any others.

Comments

[aschicca.livejournal.com]

I love you, you know that right? *squishes you*

[http://users.livejournal.com/woman_of_/]

My pleasure! *squishes you back* Love you too!

[inkingwords.livejournal.com]

I adore your rules. I want to post them everywhere. ::grins::

Golden Rule Number One....Respond to comments.
I so agree!! There are actually journals out there that I won't comment on because I know that they don't reply back. It irks me.

rule number two, if you dont always friend back, have a good reason on your user info. Such as NO ONE UNDER whatever age.
I have 37 people on my userinfo that I have not friended back. Some are people that I had on my lj that never commented. Some are ghost journals. Some are under 18. And some people friend me but never comment that they friend me. I have my journal posted friends only-please comment, no one under 18 and no ghost journals. ::shrugs::

rule number three....do not flame, con crit welcomed
This is a big one as I see it. So many people are quick to criticize other peoples writings. That's usually where I step in(even if it's not my journal) and say my two cents. Most people I know(other writers) are more than happy to give con crit. I've gotten a couple flames. The first one really upset me. I'm lucky to have a very supporting beta. The last one I got just made me mad. The person tried to say that I copied someone else's fic which I have NEVER done. I left and decided never to be a part of that community ever again.

rule number four....be as supportive as posible. Sometimes things are happening in our own life, or perhaps we are tired, so it might be best not to comment if you cannot give support.
Very very true. If you don't know what to say, you could always write....::hugs::. Sometimes that means everything to the other person. :)

Just my views and thoughts on these rules. :)

[http://users.livejournal.com/woman_of_/]

Very wise comments. I usually friend someone because I want to keep in touch. I can usually find their stories at Communities so it is a personal thing with me.

I feel for your with the flame about using someone else's work! That was under the belt, and should never be used without proof! *fume*

All your suggestiong were good, really liked them!

[inkingwords.livejournal.com]

I read the fic they said that I copied. The only similarity between the two was that it took place in a high school!!

[http://users.livejournal.com/woman_of_/]

Uhhh! At fanfic.net, almost all of them took place in highschool, they must've all copied each other! *Shakes head*

[inkingwords.livejournal.com]

I've heard so many bad things about that site, I won't even go there.

[http://users.livejournal.com/woman_of_/]

I found it when I first started reading fanfic, and it nearly put me off. Luckly before that I had found some really great writers, so know it wasn't all like that.

[kitty-poker1.livejournal.com]

I couldn't agree more. Not acknowledging comments is my No. 1 reason for never reading and feeding back to that person again. It's impolite, to say the least.

I don't always friend back but that's because of time constraints, which I explain in my friending policy. It seems almost more rude to friend back, then to filter out.

Flaming is unforgivable. I'm even iffy about concrit in comments. What's wrong with emailing or pinging someone privately if you see a problem?

Support is good and we all need it.

[http://users.livejournal.com/woman_of_/]

Thank you, yes all very good points. If we don't have the time to comment, why friend. I am guilty of just rushing tho' my flist myself.

Some of these items I think should just be understood without being stated, but seems they do need to be! I am lucky no-one on my flist is like that!

[jans-intentions.livejournal.com]

I totally agree. When I had to change my friending policy, I put it clearly on my user info so people know I can't automatically friend back anymore.

[http://users.livejournal.com/woman_of_/]

Yes, I like to read others post, but would like to think they are interested in me as well. I do get kind of hurt if not friended back, but people are busy I guess.

Totally understandable that you cannot friend everyone back, and after all it is LJ that put the limits on you, not your choice.

[mygothangel.livejournal.com]

agree completely, with a teeny weeny exception of rule 2 - I'm still unsure how I feel about people friending me and then not commenting even *once* on my LJ
after I encountered such example, with me asking 3 times for a bit introduction and getting to know each other, without getting a single answer, I defriended and not friend back automatically
but I guess, it's everyone's choice

I just wish we could have "friends" friends and "reading" friends

[http://users.livejournal.com/woman_of_/]

I have quite a few people who have never commented, or it seems even posted at their LJ, to I am not sure if they are even still using lj at all. Still I guess it is their choice.

Guess we all have our pet hang ups, maybe no. 2 is just mine.

[tickingtimeless.livejournal.com]

i have one to add... my favorite (i say this with sarcasm) is someone complaining constantly about no one ever commenting to his/her posts and yet they never reply to your own posts...AND even better, when you do reply to their post, they never respond back...then a few weeks later it's all "woe, angst, no one loves me." *sigh* i have one chick on my flist like that now and i'm really considering removing her. she used to be so interesting, too. *is sad*

this kind of sounds like what you mentioned.

i'm sure we could sit here and come up with a super long list. i used to have a thing in my userinfo about rules of what to expect in my lj but i don't think anyone read it so i removed it the other day. it was kind of a basic thing about "this is my lj - i may get cranky but it's my lj, blah blah" type thing.

*headdesk*

:)

[http://users.livejournal.com/woman_of_/]

I get that, mines should be, I may spam you with 3 posts in one day, as I did last night! Your example is a good one! I am lucky I don't have anyone like that on my flist, I am pleased to say.

I used to have a longer user info, but I deleted some of it, as I really don't think anyone reads it either. No point in having a bit about myself if no-one is checking it before friending.

[wildannuette.livejournal.com]

This is so right-especially to the first one, that's a real peeve on mine though i will say if it's on lj, maybe give the person a second chance. I remember not recieiving a comment notification till weeks later or getting a thank you till months after for the same reason. *hugs* Friending is nicer when mutual though, no one friend-spams it's not random and it's nice to do so back.

Think there should be maybe- don't like, don't read on there? Know it's almost seen as a cliche but on some of the rant sites i check out it irks me no end to read 'omg, look at this fic, i commented on it told them i hated it because it was slash/het/angst/fluff etc even though i'm a twat because the warnings were there.'

[http://users.livejournal.com/woman_of_/]

Yes if you don't heed the warning you have only yourself to blame. Some people seem to do that just to have something to complain about. Perverse.

Good points.

[kazzy-cee.livejournal.com]

Excellent guidelines, and it would be nice if everyone took notice. Unfortunately I find that a lot of people don't reply to comments. The upshot is that I don't comment any more. It's different if you know people are busy, and I have a few people that only get around to replying once a week to all comments.

I would also say that it's just plain rude not to reply to ALL comments. I have someone on my list who only replies to some comments on the list and that really makes me feel ignored. /rant

Support is also really important I agree.

[http://users.livejournal.com/woman_of_/]

I know a few like that, and just think it is rude. What really gets me is if someone who supports people by leaving feedback gets nothing in return. That is their contrubution the the fandom, and should be treated with respect. It is as if they think they are above everyone else. This fandom is only alive because we are all supporting it, and the people who contribute to keeping it alive.

/rant as well!

[shinodabear.livejournal.com]

Looks like the feedback bug is spreading! I'm not sure if that's a good thing that you're calling attentino to it, or a bad thing that you have to do it in this first place. You know? Oh well. Well said, anyhow.

(For a third time, I'll say it. Feedback is an odd creature here at LJ.)

[http://users.livejournal.com/woman_of_/]

What really gets me is if someone who supports people by leaving feedback gets nothing in return. That is their contrubution the the fandom, and should be treated with respect. It is as if they think they are above everyone else. This fandom is only alive because we are all supporting it, and the people who contribute to keeping it alive.

/rant as well!

[stretfordditto.livejournal.com]

I always try to comment, but I was thinking that peeps might not have time and they might now feel guilty if they don't comment. Some peeps have a lot of angst in RL. I've stopped complaining about WIPs since shakatany pointed out that they might have been ill or even died! OMg that would be terrible and here was me complaining about fanfiction ::treads carefully::

[http://users.livejournal.com/woman_of_/]

Well it was more about people getting comments, then not replying when someone takes the time to leave feedback, not looking for more comments. Sometimes you find that someone has commented to everyone except you, which is just rude.

If you are so ill you cannot reply to comments then maybe shouldn't post, or post and disable comments.