Considered

[lady_windermere]

From my depressive post from last night, I made a few considered decisions.

I am not sure I can help anyone who has lost someone from depression, especially an adult. My major depressive act was when I was 15, therefore the thoughts going on in my mind would not be the same as an adult.

That is not to say I cannot say some items.

Could you have loved them more? No. I was loved when I was young, but can you honestly say you have never said something that a depressed mind can twist into something hurtful? That is what happens. Anything that the mind can twist to hurt the depressed person will be. All the positive, even it it did out balance the negative will be forgotten.

Did I not pay enough attention. Old wives tale. Most depressed people do not want a lot of attention. They shy away from it. The a cry for attention, old wives tale again.

How could I have known. Honestly, no you cannot. You are not a mind reader. Most depressives will keep the most depressed thoughts to themselves.

What could I have done to help. This is an, I hate to say it, but, abnormal state of mind. Mostly done in silence. There is no warning and comes out of the blue. It is a chemical imbalance of the brain (yes I do believe that), as such, a medical illness. It needs professional help, and even then, the profession doesn't understand it that well.....or maybe I am jaded by the bad professional antics in the 70's

The end result, it was not your fault, in that state of mind (which you would not have known about anyway, no mater how close you were) the person is going round in circles with negative thoughts.

Really the person who is that depressed is not wanting to "blame" others. they just feel worthless. Mostly they feel they are doing the world, and loved ones, a favour. That things would we better without them. It never occurs to them that others might suffer from their actions.

Not what I was going to post, but I think that was what most of you were asking for. Not my own thoughts.

Comments

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

I suspect you have helped more than a few people with this.

[http://users.livejournal.com/woman_of_/]

I hope so, there are so many misconceptions about the mind set at the time.

[pfeifferpack.livejournal.com]

YES you nailed it perfectly! I have bouts of depression and been medicated a couple of times for it (currently the doctor wants to medicate me again but, hey this time I've got REASON for the depression so I'll wait...I hate the feeling on meds). I had a couple of suicide attempts when a teen too and you have stated perfectly the workings of the mind there. It's like a drain where there is NO "right thing" that someone can say or do to "pull you out" of the depression.

Sure wish there was because I'd offer it to dear ones in need.

{{{{hugs}}}}
Kathleen

[http://users.livejournal.com/woman_of_/]

I do not like meds, and refuse anti-depressionion tables myself. I get episode or bouts, but not long enough for it to require medication. Still very severe.

{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}} hope you well get over your current low!

[erin-starlight.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean. I can't say it's 100% the same (don't know all the facts) but I do get a lot of what you're saying. I do come from a family that has some tactless people which has at times helped me think they're saying the worst about me. When my sister was going through a tough time in school my parents didn't notice but I did. I barely said a word about it to my mom before she helped her.

With me, I don't want to be around people lately. I think my sister did, though I guess some people go through different things. The weird thing about the timing of me catching up on my f-list was that I'm currently writing about this subject in a story. Researching to make sure the facts were the same. I hope you feel better and I know it's not always easy.

[http://users.livejournal.com/woman_of_/]

Yes, always slight differences but to really take the steps towards being suicidal, and for the shock to most people that the person did it, then I would suspect that the keeping thoughts to yourself is quite common. It is also hard to articulate, and difficult for anyone to listen. Most people, even if they do love you, would just not "get it".

Hope you are feeling better as well *hugs*