lady_windermere

As expected, Smudge didn't make it. I was a little early, but was taken right away. The lady vet took one look at her, did an exam, and said that yes, letting her be put to sleep was the kindest in the end. I am sorry to say that I was not strong, and couldn't watch it happen, and pet her in the end. I had intended to, but broke down, the vet was very understanding. I also couldn't bring her ashes home either. I want to remember her when she was alive.

Such as:-

The times my mom stayed with us, and taught her to attack peoples hands and arms. Lots of my friends were scared of her because of it.

Her first Christmas when mom stayed here, and her first New Year, when we both stayed at Moms.

Her favourite toy was a ballon, which I would half blow up. She tried to be careful with them. One night even managing to drag one up-stairs to the bed.

When she was a kitten, she used to try and sleep on my head, putting baby claws in my scalp, and waking me up.

When I was redecorating the living room, she decided to be busy as well, and caught three birds (I saved them), but had feather everywhere, including the paste I was using for the wallpaper, ruining it.

When she found a nest of mice, and killed five in one night.

David an I went to Drymen, and had a walk up to the viewpoint. We were going to go to The Bucanan Arms Hotel, but it was too noisy. We went to the Balloch House Hotel instead, and had a drink to say goodbye.

When I came home a small part of me was expecting her to be sitting in front of the fire. I was disappointed when she was not. After Michael died, she was the one I came home to, now there is no-one

I will respond to comments soon. David is still here to offer support, but must sign off now!

I have made an appointment to see the vet tomorrow with Smudge. David is going to come with me, because I really do not think she will be coming back. It is breaking my heart so see her struggle everyday, and breaking my heart at the thought that this might be my last day with her. We have been through so much together.

I got Smudge soon after Micheal died. My Father died on my 30th Birthday, then Micheal died almost exactly 9 months later, to the very time. I got Smudge, she, and my Mother helped me through those difficult days. Smudge also helped my Mother as well. It was good for both of us to have a lovely playful kitten to think about.

When my Mother died 18 months later, sometimes Smudge was the only thing that kept me going. Looking after her, petting her, snuggling her, playing with her. She was the one who could make me laugh, and give me a reason to carry on during the times I thought I would rather be with my loved ones than here. I had to look after her, and no-one else could do it as well as me. We loved each other.

But now, as I watch her struggle each day, doing down-hill, I have made the decision that if it is kinder to let her go, maybe I should. I have to think of what is best for Smudge, not cling to her if she is suffering.

It was beldam1 and scarlettbaby birthdays yesterday, sorry I wasn't around, so I am a day late. I wish you a fantastic year. I hope it is filled with love, family, friends and happiness!

Happy Birthday and wishing you many wonderful and creative years ahead beldam1 and scarlettbaby



Other news, the cat is still here. As she is still eating well, the vet has given her a bit longer. She is not in pain, the howling is just her looking for attention and food. She did get her fur shaved off, where it was matted.

My Poor cat is getting old. After the bout of cat flu (which she luckily survived) she is now nearly blind and deaf. I know she will be 16 this year, but I do hope she will last quite a few more years. She just needs more attention.

I am getting worried about visiting my sister. I do have someone coming in to feed her and give her attention every day, it is easier now that she doesn't go out, but I am going to be so worried about her. Poor little thing, and that is another thing. She is losing weight, even though she is still eating like a horse.

I guess we all get older. It is just she has been my constant companion since Michael died. She was born a week before he died, and I got her as soon as she could leave her mother. I just hope that she is happy despite the lack of sight and hearing. She does demand more attention now. *pets her*

Sorry had to get that out my system